According to the Russian version of the 100 People, who Changed the World, when the members of the Beatles - who practically revolutionized music, introduced British music scene to the entire world and being a no-contest awesomeness personified - were ordained as Members of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, 8063 other MBEs returned their medals in disgust.

John Lennon, the most quotable Beatles, retorted by saying, "Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war—for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I'd say we deserve ours more."

Oh well, Brits and their bluebloods and whatnot.

But what do you do when Datuk-ship is awarded to:

For those who have trouble recognizing who's this poor fuck... That's your motherfucking SRK. Yes, Azza, rejoice, Shahrukh Khan got his Datukship. It's fucking Datuk Shahrukh Khan now.

You know how Malays have always been stereotyped as self-degrading and idiotic in their behavior and actions [Thanks to the ruling party, of course], hell, I didn't know we could get any lower but wtf. We degraded ourself to oblivion and then summore.

And why, we might ask, is he getting datukship? Has he done anything for the country? Or, at least, for the state that's awarding him with the title, Melaka? Maybe like the Beatles, he's getting it because he 'entertains' people - which doesn't make sense because his acting is like a puppet in a puppet theater, his singing is actually sung by other uglier Indians and his dance moves... well... dude... Plus, if that's the case, India should award him with the Tosai Medal or Sacred Ordinance of the Curry Society medal. Not Melaka.

Utusan Malaysia enlightened me with the real reason. Apparently, the well known actor is receiving the Darjah Mulia Seri Melaka on the occasion of the Melaka Yang Dipertua Tun Muhammad Khalil Ya'akob's 70th birthday.

...

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... [This doesn't even deserve a what the fuck]

No wonder Melaka so easily fell to Portuguese, Dutch AND British Empires. I'm sorry if there's any Malaccan readers out there but I think there's too many inbreeding within the then Sultanate and now Dipertua line. I mean, how else could you achieve mental retardation of this level?

Oh shit, tomorrow I must discuss this with my Indian classmates.